“And so, it is” – the power of language

Surrendering, accepting and letting go of what we cannot control

(Image by Fernando Volken Togni)

My first spiritual teacher, Ami, would always conclude his sound healing meditations with “and so, it is”. It helped me to re-enter the outside world feeling light and gentle. At times, I found myself frustrated by its simplicity. Sometimes I was just amused by it. Importantly, it reminded me not to label what had just occurred as good, bad, positive or negative, but to accept and surrender to whatever I had just experienced.

There is such a power to what we say and how we say it. Minor language flips can create major changes. I catch myself saying things like “I’m not handy”, “I can’t facilitate like X person”, “I always overeat” or “I’m a natural talker, not a natural listener”. These words creep into my psyche, slowly form a narrative and end up as my self-fulfilling prophecy. I notice a lot of other people go through their own version of this cycle as well.

“These words creep into my psyche, slowly form a narrative and end up as my self-fulfilling prophecy”

Instead of saying “I cannot do this” (limiting future us), we could say “I have not done this yet”. Instead of saying “I have depression” (as though it is our state of being), we could say “I am experiencing depressive feelings”. Instead of saying a person “committed suicide” (as though it should be a punishable crime), we could say a person “took their own life”. Instead of a day “off” from work (like we’re some robot turning off for the day), it can be a day “on” for life, as we have space to explore what feels right for us. Instead of a person saying, “I am coming out” (and being at the mercy and judgment of others), perhaps they could say they “I am coming in” to myself or “I am inviting in” – inviting others into the full expression of who I am.

Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said, “Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” Our words can shape our perspective and our perspective can shape our reality. We have the agency to influence our reality. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. And so, it is.

Written by Nicholas Bloom, Mental Health First Aid instructor, corporate wellbeing facilitator and self-proclaimed sports tragic.


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